Hi I’m TheWhacksteR, and I’m emotionless.

‘Hi TheWhacksteR!’ came the chorus.

‘Geez, why does he have a ‘the’ in front of his name, the conceited prick’

‘Ahem, now now, let the man share his story’

OK. Here goes aherm.. emotion.

I can’t show it. Well I do show it. But only sometimes. I mean I can’t just push a button that says ‘express appropriate emotion’ and badabing, My face contorts into the appropriate gestures to satisfy whoever is expecting it. No I’ll leave all that in the capable hands of Shah Rukh Khan. Theatrics man, I tell you, they just get on your nerves.

Ok i suppose you may have figured out i am on a bit of a rant mode here, so I’ll try and keep it as objective as possible. But it’s hard ‘cos I get this a lot. Especially from those females whom I’ve been romantically involved with from a mild to a very serious extent. To my ex for instance, I’ve been a ‘dead man’ and this is my favourite, ‘British’.

Listen. I can’t fudging spell out in words what I’m feeling now can i? Uv gotta understand it. If I’m disposed to have a stony expression on my face most of the time it’s because it’s probably a reflection of how my mind works, I am not an effing Emo to suddenly burst into tears neither am I Marilyn Manson to get all wonky faced when you say something that bites. I only show it when it comes to a point where i am automatically inclined to it. Get used to it. Damn it.

I guess it takes a person who is capable of understanding you to really see what’s going through your mind. And i don’t believe that expressing emotions has got anything to do with it. Because even if i am a stony faced bugger, i am always conveying my feelings through my actions, words and expressions, it only takes someone on the same mental wavelength to understand. So its bullshit if someone tells you that you are not showing emotion (unless you’re actively hiding it). They are probably reading you all wrong. And if it’s your girlfriend or boyfriend who’s doing it, and they can’t seem to change, take my kind advice and become swingle, fast.

Awkward/ poignant/ embarrassing (the appropriate emotion is not quite clear) pause.

*cough* er, thats it.

‘Ahem! Ok ladies and gentlemen, why don’t we show Whackster here our appreciation for sharing and give him a loud round of applause!’.

Er it’s THE Whackster actually. But er. Never mind, er

*clap clap clap clap*

‘Thank you for sharing Whackster!’

‘conceited prick!’

‘Okay! Who’s next?’