I haven't had any sex in months, I mean im not a exactly a bed hopping charged battery-bull but you know, i like the occasional roll in the grass or more like the pavement you know. But you can't even get laid in this land without undergoing torturous psychological trauma where the girl will give you no end of hell accusing you of knocking her up and jumping the gun.
I am sorry, i may be offending a lot of ladies here but to my credit, i really don't care. I almost suspected myself of turning into a homosexual for goodness sakes! i have been for so long removed from womankind by choice that there are points of time when i am seriously concerned about the true nature of my sexuality, this is a serious, serious problem.
This all started ages ago, along with my first experiences with women. I have always been careful not to be too sexually involved with a woman that im emotionally involved with and my list of encounters of the close kind have mostly been with causal flings. But then again this is not a very telling point seeing as i've only really been emotionally involved with about 3 women (and only two of them anything close to serious). But the thing is, sexual experiences in my book feel nothing as good as when there is a bit of emotion involved.
Casual flings are great. but there is a reason they are casual and pretty soon you get bored and move along yeah? and the more time you spend in casual flings the more you tend to start wanting something more real and more exciting and then poof! before you know it, you are treading the Menstrual Swamps, with bitch fits, hissy fits (apologies to DQ whom i met over the weekend and whom i thought was very nice), underground arguments waiting to grab you by your feet and drag you under, and the occasional extremely dangerous surprise landmine that will explode the moment you keep your foot in the wrong place.
It takes a long time to navigate out of the Swamp, and its a tough, tough process. There will be many vines that grab you. Many zombified 'other people' who will involve themselves and perform slave rituals in trance like dreams to make your life even more of a living hell than it already is. The swamp itself will play mind games on you, it will make you believe that you don't really want to leave! it will try and convince you that it is in reality a paradise, and it will actually show you a some wonderful times to prove it. But these wonderful times will soon be few and far between and one must know to get out whilst one still can. One must be strong and determined. And immune to the temptations of the flesh.
Such drama and torture is not worth the sex on tap that is probably the sole benefit of the whole operation. Oh of course there is love and understanding and caring and all that, but that's nothing a guy can't mostly do without, cos it all comes at such a great price see? And like i said, sex in a relationship is different from just plain old sex. No, to me its more intense, more thrilling, much more of an experience than just a wham bam thank you m' am at Big John, Dehiwala. Sex with emotion is truly ecstatic. And the other kind simply pales in comparison.
So what do we do then? this is quite the perplexing conundrum (not the blog). Here i lie frustrated the fuck out, wanting to get laid but pooh-pooh-ing at a casual fling, checking out boys and wondering what the fuck is wrong with me, examining this post and wondering why the fuck i've written the word 'fuck' so many times. Trying my best to stay the hell away from emotional involvement with women and not finding it all that hard either because i'v become jaded and cynical and most of the women i know don't make me feel like i should be in a relationship with them anyway.
Yes, the world is boring and nothing presents me a challenge worth taking.
Change man, change is what i need.
Obama! is this the thanks i get for telling my best friend in Maryland to vote for you? So what if he was not a citizen and couldn't actually vote? and so what if i didn't actually tell him anything in the first place? %%$^#$!