JERK? A beyond Borders Forum Theater performance

BB is doing a Forum theater performance on the 29th of August

FT is an audience interactive mode of theater that lets the people watching stop, modify and redirect the story. It is loads of fun. And if you are the sadistic kind who likes to see actors suffer while they try to bring to life scenarios that are inside your head then this is right up your dark, dimly lit alley. Although in some cases you may be asked to come up on stage to perform a certain critical role yourself.

FT is great when it comes to dissecting complex social issues because of the myriad opinions involved. As such, a proactive, intelligent and participative audience is usually a key element.

JERK? focuses on ADHD, often a misunderstood condition in Sri Lanka. In fact, it is hardy known. Barely a thought is usually given to how sufferers cope up in a society that doesn't even recognize what they are suffering from. To illustrate, JERK? takes you through the rollercoaster ride of Rajeev; disturbed, distracted, a teenage rebel cum mathematical genius. The issues will be discussed as the story develops, through the various twists and turns of the plot.

It is for invitees only, so if you'd like to come please leave a comment, drop a mail, or even better text or call one of these numbers; 0777 335 320, 0777 491 718. Invites are limited, so you may want to make a little ha(-y while the sunshines)ste.

Views, reviews etc of previous Beyond Borders Forum theater can be found here

A SERIES OF TWEETS

I sometimes tweet a poem or two when im in the mood. The verses flow out one by one as i walk down the street or sit in a bus or before i sleep. Here are two recent ones.

THE SWEETNESS

The only complaint men have when they are free is that there is nothing to tie them down;
So into the realm of vice he frowned looking for reasons to stay on the ground.
Into the eyes of gollum; green bubbling fear and angry intent; so solemn,
On to the back of a renegade beast he leapt; to feast upon madness too morbid to mention.
Off down his street looking for danger; to the corner shop to buy him a Benson.
'Its just u and me my little white friend, i'll burn with you until you see the end,
Then i will stamp you upon the ground; my face no longer darkened with a frown,
and go home.'; the sweetness of friendship lies in its parting...


AT SLUMBER'S DOOR

Waiting for the last queen to fall,
Waiting for that siren call;
That tells the end of battle

Waiting for the rush to ebb away,
Waiting for the calmness to take away,
The seething musth inside;
Denying me paradise

Oh fair temptress please deny me,
Please turn away my silent plea,
For heartbreak is a trifle;
To the pain of possessing thee

We are but figures in a big paradigm,
We are but diggers in a grave of time,
We are certainly not complete;
But we loath to become free

We are paupers, ourselves, on mountains of gold,
We are but beggars but we have no bowl,
We expect the impossible;
And delude ourselves..

Now as my mind takes yet another leap,
And silence calls me to the solitude of sleep,
My escape route is here;
Slumber makes things clear

But before i go let me silently weep,
For a great love lost; beauty i won't get to keep,
But some things are bigger;
And beauty sometimes is a perilous trigger

Adding credibility to my claim to being the blogospheres pick-up line expert, and blindly stealing off the internet (its got a lot of information you should check it out) i bring to you;

11 of the Worst Pickup Lines Ever Heard

1. Insulting Libraries Everywhere

"Do you have a library card? Because I'm checking you out."

2. The Ticking Clock Ultimatum

"I'll give you five seconds to give me your number or you can forget about going out with me forever."

3. The Self-Congratulatory Approach

"I'm a hot commodity. You're a hot commodity. We should go out."

4. The Old "Space Pants" Line …

"Are you wearing space pants? Because your rear is out of this world."

5. Random Anatomical Reference

"You have nice child-bearing hips."

7. Extra Cheese, Please

"Was your dad a robber? Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes."

8. P.U. or I.O.U.?

"You owe me money."
"Why?"
"You've been living in my heart and you haven't paid rent."

9. Misplaced Ardor

"Your mom is hot! I bet you will look just like her when you are older."

10. Hair-Raising Comments

"How long did it take to shave those looong legs?"

11. Schooled in Geography

"Are you from Tennessee?"
"No."
"Are you sure? 'Cause you're the only 10 I see."


Yes, i have sadly been reduced to copy pasting off the internet. But what works for Rehani should techinically work for me. And here's how i boost my search engine stats; sex! anal! anarkali!

The Adventures of Super Bottle

The bottle screamed
No Don't stopper me!!
i'll be a good bottle i swear
but they threw him in the sea

The man dreamed
oh i need some release
2 years stuck on this island
I AM DYING TO BE FREE

But in death he will be free
If he did in his life an appropriate good
but at this juncture thats not quite what he meant
I'm sure that can be understood

Release is release enough
when a man is confronted by a demon at dusk
he popped out a bottle and provided him
With three outlets to his lust

I will have whatever it takes
for a man to be ultimately free
i need to apply the disk brakes
to this life's endless misery

Well the demon he thought
(for he was kind about his head
and was good and wise...)
and at long last he said;

What you seek is written
from the very day you were born
what you seek is a promise
a promise you already own

What you seek will come to you
eventually; in dusk or morn
and what you reap will rely on
the oaths that you have sworn

If this life is misery
then hope you have not left
its contentment you need to be finally free
for what you seek is death.

And with that the demon puffed into air
and an empty bottle stood
the man, for a while, looked everywhere
then went on with life the best he could.

Still, he should have asked for sandwiches before getting all philosophical.

TWORDLE

That’s my wordle. Apparently i say 'man' and 'ur' and 'good' and 'time’ a lot.

'Man ur in deep shit so you better come up with a good one on time'

women is a word iv never used there. You know why? Cos women are the ones who hunt your balls by night.

now occasionally, I harbor fears of being reduced to a stuttering mass of man blubber again so I’m strongly averse to relationships

but that don't mean that they don't make me fall oh no.

But enough about the depressing stuff.

I am constantly surprised by the amount of people willing to call up public radio and practically worship the leader of this country

It scares the shit out of me that there can be such fanatics in a country. They are blind to the fact that everything has negatives.

And some things more than others.

It strikes me as absurd that people harp about 'defeating the LTTE' when their international funding network is still wholly intact.

The blind truth is truly blind to the truth

I find it absurd that we still have a media in this country that has the audacity to call itself the media.

A racehorse crippled doesn’t serve anyone’s purpose.

The half caste media we have serves only to delude the public into false senses of security, into complacency.

Where are the investigations?

How can the truth be the truth when you decide which truth to make public?

I find it absurd.

Democracy died a long time ago

It surprises the shit out of me every time i realize that a lot of people choose to ignore this fact.

In the future

In the future kids will be traumatized by illegal chartrooms. don’t chat with anyone you don’t know! will be the most common advice given to kids by their parents.

Sleeping pills will have massive demand and people will rely on them to get some rest after staying up bleary eyed in front of PCs chatting idly away.

Zombies will be commonplace as people wave their hands about in front of their face in a 'touch screen delusion' where they try to move the real world around like they move objects around on a pc.

A few generations later...

Aliens will land on earth and find an empty planet. All the people will be in sealed compartments that they will be put into as soon as they are old enough to leave the family pod. Which is a temporary social institution formed to honor a genetic obligation.

Goods will be transported via holographic molecular displacement. Atomization will require only commands from individuals in pods who will operate Earth’s complex infrastructure.

The more progressive thinkers would have already outsourced their thoughts and brains to twitter.

Sexual stimulation will exclusively happen through the art of cyberdildonomics.

The aliens will destroy the planet, thinking it’s empty, to make way for an intergallactic superhighway and yes they will be known as Vulcans, if you like.

When Twitter is down

- the @ reply seems like a stupid concept.

- good luck getting the cat to laugh at your dick jokes.

- your followers forget you ever existed.

- the last breath caresses the muse's lips as she falls slowly to the marble floor, and a thousand doves fly skyward in panic that soon turns to sorrow. o, the day art died!

- something is technically fucked up.

- the world is a sad and lonely place.

- pass it around; 98 twitters of beer on the wall.

- a single-serving site seems like a good idea.

- grab the shortest guy you can find and pummel him.

- three of these on a loop will entertain you for hours.

- clouds robot sperm bird.

- use your words to share your feelings.

- your droll observation on testicles will lose most of its social relevance.

- it's probably because you used it wrong.

http://whentwitterisdown.com/

Yesterday..

Wasn't half as dramatic as Fallen and Jarry made it out to be.

Me, Unsilent and Fallen agreed to meet at 4.45 a.m and then head over to Fort. Unsilent, having only slept an hour after a night of insane partying, arrived there exactly on time. I am shamed to say i was five minutes late. But fallen, having slept peacefully like a baby no doubt, ambled along about 20 minutes later, becoming the chief reason that Jerry spent a lonely few minutes in line for the tickets carrying our sandwiches.

Kandy

After a brief moment of panic at the railway station when papareboy started screaming 'wheres my ticket, wheres my ticket' before putting his hand into his pocket and finding it, the first thing we saw when entering Kandy was thousands upon thousands of people sitting on the pavements. eating bumbai mutai. which of course made fallen immediately purchase some for himself, and we all gorged on it while wearing sunglasses and talking in foreign accents.

Gehan came over smartly dressed and wearing shoes. We felt honored of course. and slightly ashamed that we'd come all this distance in just shorts and rubbers. I also took the opportunity to clarify a certain trait of Kandy society that Realskull and me had heard about, but i'll leave that lengthy and productive discussion to a post on my sociology blog.

We went to buy peanuts. 20 peanut shells cost twenty rupees in kandy. they like things all lined up. Apparently they do it to help them deal with numbers more efficiently in the cold weather. Which was probably what had effected me during that unfortunate brawl with the vadey seller that left him and me ultimately arguing about algorithms so complex that everyone else convinced me to give in and pay the extra 25 rupees he was demanding to spare them having to think so hard to keep up.

But that was later, and many things happened in the intervening time.

There is broad consensus on HisPs capacity to give (and take) directions. But here i must step in and intervene and explain how he probably saved us from a useless and near 90 degree trek up a mountain and took us up a even rockier stream which was slippery to boot. but the point is that we ended up at the 'bathing spot'. Though this particular bathing spot required so many feats of athleticism and sheer luck to reach that it can't be very popular. Which was probably characterized by the many undiscoved species of leech we saw. Especially the variety that caused Papare Boy's indegestion which is awaiting approval from the National Science Council to be called leechus papareguts.

'Scotland' will only be Scotland in a few hundred years. When global warming has progressed far enough to make it look like a lush green place in Sri Lanka. but it was lush and it was green. and the view of the Mahaweli river snaking along the distance was breathtaking. Full points to Monte Fano. You should go and see it. massive trees, beautiful forests, cool buildings, eagles and did i mention the view?

And no people.

There were no people!

You would be amazed at the percentage of time we spent yesterday during which we could have easily deluded ourselves into thinking we had stepped into a different universe frozen in time. 'Scotland' was empty. The monks having gone on leave, and our elderly guide was too weak to trek up the mountain with us.

The bathing spot was deserted, only sign of human life being some aricle of clothing or the other strewn haphazardly among the shrubs further upwards from the waterfall. This made the more imaginative of us (like Jerry) imagine things like rape and look lustily at certain others (like papareboy) and stalk them with cameras while they changed innocently behind bushes.

The best kimbula bunis ever tasted was real. It was crispy, the sugar just melted, it was one of the highlights of the whole trip.

This sunday we may mosey down to Mirissa, just to chill like, having had a stressfully adventurous day yesterday and all. Some tap rugger, fishing, snorkeling (HisP tells me about this great rock pool), and surfing if we can manage it.

all are welcome.

pics will be up and about soon i bet. And different aspects and events have been left out, otherwise this post would have been pages long.

Travel blog also opened. Must see how that will take off. HisP's idea.

Update: pics can be found here. The undoctored variety.