Analogy and Feathers

Green sparks! greaan sparks revolted in the red fire. they amulgamated and formed little flames of their own. They had been hiding in the tiny metal substrate the secret ingredient; the exotic dense substance that had missed the attention of the destroyer class disposal unit sent from the Establishment.

Kangaroos flew into the mind in billowing cloaks liened with regard into the flaming pew stickers in the renaissance of the decaprio saga. The giselle bunchens and other assorted lingerie models not withstanding the gossip of the amazonian pshycopaths, the egyptian druglords and american jailbirds.

but reclaiming land has always been a reconnoitering mission of serious psokage that has embittered the masses against the would be devils of the landlords. liberalist ideals have formulated the basis for the spawn of animated cartoons to disintergrate into remorseless interpretations of Sexual Man.

B ol cols trembling old a controlled attempt a ontrolled shally wally bang bang bang of dispropotionate. A metaphor released into a vacuum that was the test. an analogy released into a singular universe it ceased to exist but what is an analogy but something dependent on something else?

I am an analogy an analogy of you him them. You are an analogy an analogy of me her him. We are analogies floating on each others whim, we will not survive in vacuums.

we will not survive we are dependent i am dependent on  you ? on you? it pisses me off but i am forced to admit i am dependent on you are dependent on me? it may piss you off but force to admit that you are are are depended on me. convolution be damned this is a scenario a problem of perception we must solve this.

Pick up fine

We travel back in time a decade or so and...

There i am, a confused teenager wondering how the whole guy girl thing works. Slowly, pop culture exposes me to the phenomenon of pick up lines and i confront the holy grail of sexual pursuit; this is what i had been waiting for, this was the secret!

I put my newfound knowledge into practice. I started off with the lame 'have i seen you somewhere before?' line at an Interact event. A series of bemused girls say mixtures of things like 'er. i dont know hmm let me think about it', 'er, have you? where?' until, jackpot! one goes 'oh yeah at drama comp right?!' (i had never been to a drama comp in my life) i say 'yeaaah, i think you could be right!'.

So this one is really pretty and im all excited and manage to carry through a conversation and get her number and promise to call her sometime. Only i was so excited to have pulled it off i had to ask her three or four times afterwards for confirmation. Just to make sure it had really taken place outside the confines of my mind.

This other time, im at a rock concert and im walking up the stairs at MKOP. There are these two girls and one of 'em, as far as i could discern, was checking me (or possibly my friend, assuming she was slightly squint eyed) out while we were going up the stairs, so i go upto them and ask the one who was looking;

'Have you been feeling kinda tired lately?'

What can only be retrospectivey described as confusion, but disguised to my eyes in the heat of that moment as charmingly aroused curiousity, passes across her face.

'Uh tired? No?'

A pause, she was obviously not wondering which lunatic asylum i escaped from; Angoda or Mulleriyawa, and then she drops the question i've been waiting for...

'Why?'

So let her have the punchline.

And lean against the bannister and look into her eyes, not a lot unlike Elvis, expecting to see that brief moment when she would melt as her walls of restraint collapse beneath a river of uncontrollable adoration.

Instead I see horror. And indignation. And she blurts out;

'Excuse me but my mom is here!'

That was probably the only thing she could think of, but she was refferring to the 'chick' standing next to her, and the scary part is that I think that really was her mom, who was leaning on the banister like some rocker chick and giving me a look as if to say; where did you get the balls??

So i followed the first instinct of wisdom, I flirted with the mom. No, not really, I walked away before any fathers or brothers could materialize. See the thing with instinct is you gotta make sure its not too influenced by the latest installment of American Pie, or you'll find yourself getting into a sticky situation, rather like that unfortunate pie in the movie.

stop and talk a little men

Here, what are you doing?

no men, if i put this bottle full of water in the garden the cats won't come it seems

what? what kind of reasoning is that based on?

who knows men, next door uncle only told.

so is he going and putting it in his garden as well?

ya ya. and no cats at all it seems

what? really, hmm must tell dada to try and see

ya men tell tell, big problem with these cats, always coming and kakka fining and going

ya ya i know, the whole place stinks like nobody's business

hmm.

ok im going then, must go and water the plants also (must get away!)

ah ya ya havent rained also for ages no, aiyo i dont know WHAT is happening

some global heating or something they said in the news? who knows men. here here im going. getting late. i'll come ah?

ah ok ok go and come, go and come

Talk

What is this?

It is a lie

it is an illusion

it is a ten rupee note.

A cigarette doesnt kill you!

Ok fine it does,

but imagine the cigarette

how would it be if someone sucked the life out of you

Through your arse?

Damn.

A matchstick's got it worse

In the great battle commanded by the cigarrette companies,

If the cigarettes are the soldiers (My grandson will get you motherfucker!!)

The matchsticks are the suicide bombers

The carder of efficient killers

Providing that initial burst of flame and killing themselves in the process.

The sparkers of battle.


contributors; % & * @ $ !