FrankenMarketing

Management. Man if there was ever a science that dealt with pure common sense it would be management. I mean you go for years of classes and slave through exams only to come up with what a five year old would say is the the most obviously logical solution to a problem and three years down the line you don't really feel like you've learned anything. You just feel like a coconut. Husk removed, oil extracted, and distributed across several locations ranging from five star hotels to slums to the Everest of garbage that is sitting in Maligawatte; the same coconut, but 'diversified'.

Ok that analogy looks and sounds a bit off doesnt it? No matter. The blunders that big firms make is what actually brought me to write this random one. The story of McDonalds entering India with a beefburgher is probably a folk tale by now to any person who sat through a marketing or management course at any point in their lives over the last fifteen years. I mean here you have a global firm, very experienced, entering a massive market famed for their reverence of cows and how do they go about making their entry? by making a big hullaballoo about how great their beefburgher is. im sick of it.

Im sick of hearing about this chicken entrepreneur who translated their slogan 'it takes a tough man to make a tender chicken' into spanish and ended up with 'it takes a virile man to make a chicken affectionate' or something along those lines. im sick of hearing of this airline who went into Hong Kong and decided to be all innovative and give out free flowers to first time passengers. Great idea right? Wrong. They chose carnations and guess what, Hong Kongese or however you may call them associate carnations with death; the big D word, the one that everyone tries to ignore. How would you feel if someone handed you a miniature coffin or a free voucher to a funeral parlour when you board a plane? Dumbasses.

So what management students and lecturers all over the world do is, they look at these chaps who made these blunders and they snigger at them in a superior manner. They laugh over them during drinks. They use them as examples to describe common everyday events, leaving those not in the loop contemplating dialing the sanatorium. it makes these chaps feel good to think that even global corporate giants can make stupid mistakes like these. it helps counter the constant sense of inferiority that drives them to take up jobs in the world of corporate bum slavery. for evey guy who climbs the corporate ladder, there is another one fumbling and falling down to the endless depths of no return, or simply retiring.

And then we have countries like China that are driving the rest of them up the wall. How can you beat a place where there is enough labor to fill several factories that costs you only about 2 dollars a month to maintain? and that is per-factory. Salaries all over the world are being cut because of the inexhaustible rate at which people seem to be crawling out to work out of the nooks and crannies of China. I think they've got some kinda people producing plant hidden in there somewhere. Either that or they've been planning this for centuries. And perfecting their own brand of top secret Kama Sutra, with modifications designed to focus on the end result and not the actual process of the thing. So if Bill Gates starts driving a Toyota and that hotshot fast rising executive at your Rotaract club pulls into the next meeting on a BMX, you know who to blame. Or thank.

And its all about money. Oh no, don't be fooled by the altruistic overtones. Even CSR is simply alturism furnished with a pair of binoculars (to modify a Helvetius quote). Its all about driving profit. I was initially disillusioned with the whole concept of marketing because i simply saw it as a way of bullshitting, tricking, manipulating and convincing some poor chap to forego six months of his mortgage payments to buy a pair of Pradas to finally feel like a man. Now i know that if that chap was stupid enough to actually gobble it up, he deserves the cardboard box he is living in and he deserved to be tricked and bullshitted and brainwashed. You're just dealing out justice. 'No worries mate, it's all good down under' says the eskimo who just bought the latest LG 'ice machine' three door 'super door cooling' Made in Australia freezer cum kitchenette, and who sold his father's only whaling boat to afford it; plunging his family into a doomed state of polar bear fodder.

It teaches you dog eat dog ness. It teaches you to kill or be killed. If the corporate world is the jungle, then management is the art of survival. Quick on your feet, running before you even leap out of bed, running in your sleep. Stalking your prey day and night. You call him a customer and claim he's always right. But when it comes to the most important things in life, he's only right if he agrees with you. You can hear the thunder before the storm but you can't hear the marketer as he stalks you while you innocently watch Prison Break, or foolishly read hit-ad while sitting on an empty wallet and a soon to be declined credit card.

Its sick, its disgusting, yet i am almost triple qualified in it. Im a disgrace. But im out to get your money, I won't warn you again. Or i will if you buy these Pradas, go on treat yourself, you're a man that needs them. Your family deserves them. Your career depends on them. Your daughter's marriage prospects depend on them. Buy them! You're feeling sleepy, when i snap my fingers you will wake up and pay me and go home and ignore the repossessors and love the cardboard box that you end up in because you're a loser and im the king and the world is a moneymaking jungle. I'm too classy for an evil laugh.

You know you're broke when..

you decide against a second chicken samoosa cos your delirious pangs of hunger have died down to a mere inferno after eating one, and survival till you eat your home cooked lunch is just an agonizing hour away.

you decide to walk to the junction instead of taking a tuk tuk cos you want to take the 'scenic route'

you 'window shop' at the used booksellers' on the pavement

you avoid eating an isso vadey in order to 'cut down on the the oil intake'

you walk around unity plaza looking for the best prices for blank dvd's, and your colleagues have to call you and remind you to get back to work.

you decide to splurge on the way back and spend lavishly on a five rupee bus ticket, and feel rich 'cos you don't feel guilty afterwards.

you think the 25th of April is the happiest day of your life.

dream unto freedom

sometimes we all get those days when we say
'screw the world!'
and we go on our way
no more bosses
no more jobs
we'll all live in the streets,
with our plain teas and Gold Leafs

the sea will be our hang out
the breeze will be our drug.
civilization is a human constuct
enslaving us,
at the hands of our own ignorance
is advancement achievement?
is it worth all the fuss?

what is worth tying ourselves up
to a pole of thorns
to be beaten and eaten
by corporate norms

i am Prometheus!
let me be free

leave me alone
you eagle of corporate greed!

The conspiracy theory bit

Due to popular request, by one person, here is the conspiracy theory bit,

In back rooms and bars, in garden sessions in the evening and in Christmas day pre-lunch sessions. When friends meet up for beers in cars parked in front of supermarkets for easy refills, in discussions around lunch times with the people you call colleagues the conspiracy theories abound and prosper. They are the grapevine of society, a countering force to the mainstream media, who give out re-fabricated versions of truth, whose own social and political bias can only prevent it from giving out objective information, where appearances are everything and the truth is merely a clay object to sit and mould to create whatever you want of it.

There are various aspects to it.

1) Burning the haystack to destroy the needle

Gaza anyone? indiscriminate aerial bombings have left the tigers no option but to retreat. Guerilla warfare is all very well when you're sure the enemy is not going to come in and bomb the whole jungle. It's all good when the enemy is too careful about not harming civillians to come in and target you, who are hiding amongst them. The haystack was burned down and the needles were wheedled out. International dissent is countered by promises of economic incentives (access to natural resources, investment opportunities potential harmful to the local economy, support at the UN by 'selling' our votes etc).

2) The new deal

Theories about a 'deal' back in the last presidential elections with regard to the prevention of voting of certain segments of the population were abundantly broadcasted through the grapevine, the new deal is a deal between the government and the tigers, huge payoffs were involved, the tigers agreed to get lost, the government made a hoo-ha about fighting and clearing up the area while there were no tigers really there.

The Ugly bit

This is where things get a bit ugly, if such a deal existed then what about the dead? the numbers of the dead have nowhere been as close to the magnitude as you would expect from such a clean up. But there is no denying that there are the dead.

If the deal was made, it was made so that only the higher echelons of the powerful on both sides would know. You can't have soldiers going home and talking about deserted towns and no resistance at all offered by the LTTE, or vice versa. So fighting was staged, people were sacrificed, but not as many as would have been sacrificed if it was all absolutely real, but enough at least to convince those doing the fighting of its truth.

They're on the way to clearing up the whole country and yet, they haven’t found Prabhakaran. Haven't even found the usually heavily publicized underground hiding places, bunkers etc. Where are the rows of dead tigers on TV? Where are the rows of dead soldiers? Why is there such muted backlash from tigers and their supporters abroad?

The beautiful bit

Ah this is the beautiful bit. Why would the tigers retreat if they had nothing in it? surely just the money wouldn’t convince an idealist like Prabhakaran to back off and shut up?

The grapevine says that the Tigers still have powerful allies abroad, governmental allies. The deal was struck knowing this, the beauty of the deal is that after the North-east is cleared up, the leaders of the LTTE (the ones that have remained out of the spotlight, or ones that are puppets to the real ones staying being the curtains) will come back and proceed to participate 'democratically' in the governance of the North-east.

3) The man on the Moon

Its all a sham. Its just to win an election and consolidate power. We'll be back to fighting the war in no time.

...

War is war, but what is it exactly? is it really only just fighting with guns and other weapons and driving back the enemy? Can we really take sides when we look at the greater picture? why are we embroiled in false notions of 'patriotism' and 'right' and 'wrong' when deep down we know that it is all about economic incentives? why are we divided into countries anyway? aren’t we all a part of the same race? The human race?

enough with the philosophy one-oh-one (as David Blacker would say) but the grapevine has told me a few thing and i just thought I’d share them with you. We have to open our eyes, and accept that things may not always be what they seem. If the conspiracies are true, then there are reasons for the farce. People themselves may never accept the tigers as democratic leaders so maybe a whole fiasco had to be done up to at least give them the psychological satisfaction of a win. But then, what about the base of eelam supporters in the world? don’t they need and wont they clamor for a win too? Or has their support base eroded so far that such a series of events is made possible.

Whatever said and done, the conflict seems to be coming to a close. Even the grapevine, usually very skeptical, seems to be convinced that the war as we know it has come to an end. But the way it was brought to an end, and how it ended, may have deeper political and economic implications than we can easily guess on our little island well into the future.

Not another religion post

The monetary system of the world is its unofficial religion. Everyone works for money that’s agreed? Everyone also builds their lives around money. yeah you can deny it. What? Me? a slave to money? are you crazy? I’m just doing this cos i like the job and the perks are not bad either. A bowl of free basmathi rice everyday and a piece of fried fish is no laughing matter.

Not if you're not Shanthiram, a hermit in Uyankelle, it isn’t.

The money is created through the fractional reserve banking system. Where its supply is expanded by ongoing lending. Basically money is printed. And that's how it’s created right? We all know that. So wtf is this moron talking about you may be asking. Yes money is created through printing. The government prints the money. Then they deposit it in the banking system. The commercial banking system. And now the magic starts.

See what happens is banks operate on a Fractional Reserve system. Meaning that they just have to have a given fraction (or a part say, 20%) of the total amount of money they have lent out. Which also means that, once, say you or me, deposit 1000 bucks in the bank, the bank can keep 200 rupees and lend out 800 without creating new money, OR, they can keep the 1000 bucks with them and give out an additional 800 rupees cash on top of that as new money. So theres 800 rupees in the system that didn’t exist before. And that’s how banks increase the quantity of money.

So the chap who borrows the 800 rupees goes and deposits it in another bank, or buys a pizza from Dominoes and Dominoes deposits that in their bank account. This bank then repeats that procedure and creates 640 rupees on top of the 800 rupees in its reserves and lends that out. Typically after some complex mathematics it is possible to deduce that the eventual amount of money created by that initial 1000 rupees is somewhere closer to nine times as much.

So how is the money printed? I mean you and me know that only Central Banks can print money right? Most money is actually electronic (its the new plastic apparently) There need only be that initial amount of actual cash physically present in the system.

This is why a bank run is potentially so disastrous. If all of us wanted to cash all our funds at the same time; CRASH!.

So anyway, what does all this have to do with us being slaves to money? About money being religion and about worship at the altars of cashier counters? Ah, one word; Interest.

See the banks control money. They make it and they distribute it. And they charge interest for lending money. Every single dollar or rupee that goes out of a bank needs to be returned with more money. So where does this money for interest come from?

Nowhere. It doesn’t exist.

So where does it come from? I mean, how do people pay their loans if the money for interest doesn't exist? How can the banks demand more money than they have lent out? They are the ones who create the money. All the money in the system/ economy has been created by the banks. The system outside the banks cannot create money. So how can the system essentially pay the bank back with more money than the banks have given it in the first place? They can't. There’s only a limited supply of money. So the system or an economy as a whole cannot pay all its debts.

Therefore foreclosures, bankruptcies etc, are inevitable where the system as a whole is concerned.

But where individuals are concerned, paying back their debts becomes their primary concern. They start businesses, work 8 hours a day, grow crops etc so that they can support their lives and pay back their debts. Basically they have to slave to earn money in order to feed and clothe themselves. This drives greed and need. it turns into the law of the jungle out there. If the system as a whole owes more money than the actual quantity of money available, then the people in that system will have to fight each other to get that money. And there is born what we refer to as the rat race.

The weak get left behind, as the strong fight them for the amount of the limited resource that is money. For money is always limited, because the requirement for it is always greater than its actual availability.

So the marginalized, the poor, the oppressed grow in numbers as they get pushed out of the race. The world plunges into more despair while being embroiled in a 'system' of money so sacred that all its citizens want, is more of it.

We are all trapped. The world is a hamster wheel and we are all running as hard as we can to get as much money as we can, for we need money to survive. We are slaves, yet we believe we are free. But even Mr. Bill Gates isn’t free, he's only got someone else to carry him.

Apologies for the long post. It was inspired by Zeitgeist: Addendum which i watched recently, but information on the fractional reserve system can be found on wiki. Information on the whole monetary system and its evil influence may be less hard to come by, i haven't checked. But its nowhere that logical reasoning cant get you. So is religion money? Is money religion? Are any of us actually free from religion? Are we not all hypocrites?

Btw, listen to the tracks from Slumdog Millionaire, good stuff for a Monday morning!

Pax.

The odds and ends that pop in now and then

goinabeggin

Bah! The trouble you have to go through to find a decent place to beg these days. There is a freaking monopoly controlled by the one huge player in the market, an unofficial association of beggars. No, make that a syndicate. We’re talking mafia stylie here.

They’ve got all the good spots, places like MC are priority locations, only a given few can be present there at any given time. One can only assume that the little chap on the wheelchair with the disfigured arm, no legs and the pocket that is always full of money has a controlling stake in the whole enterprise or something. Otherwise you tell me how the same guy can hog the same damn lucrative location day in and day out? Especially if he is pint sized and can be pushed over (or rolled onto the street in front of a speeding bus) easily by any bigger beggar out there? And did I mention his pocket is always full of cash? There’s even someone standing by to empty it out now and then

There are also the celebrities, the ones you see on TV. Remember that blind couple who were splashed all over the TV some years ago. The ones who used to sing really well? Guess what? They were REAL! Yes that’s right. I couldn’t believe it the first time I saw them either. Saw em at the train station and then around Bambalapitiya, was a mere kid back then so it was like meeting a celebrity or something, walked upto em and dropped 2 rupees in their begging bowl with awestruck eyes never leaving their blind faces. Now I’m grown up though, and I want to be just like them, I am much more mature and don’t get star struck so easily.

I’m listening to this System of a Down song called ‘power struggle’ right now and thinking and that is what it is. A power struggle. Some of these beggars probably make more money than you or me. But most of them are probably really living in the gutter. It’s the 80-20 principle there as well. Everything is controlled, even beggars don’t get to beg when and where they want to. There is a market. And some markets are more lucrative than others; places like MC, Odel & House of Fashions are probably the bomb. And if they are the bomb, everyone who is a beggar worth his begging bones should come there right? Unless of course there is some sort of market force in action. Could be supply and demand, but it's more likely an organized force of thuggery and control.

Maybe they are even linked to the Mob. And I don’t mean The MoB.

Anyways, taking into consideration the unhealthy financial environment, I was just looking at my options. Oh well, I’ll just move on to the next one (investment banking). Begging isn’t as great as I thought it was. Crime essentially doesn’t pay either. If you doubt me read chapters 3&4 (if im not mistaken) of Freakonomics (500 bucks at VYB basement), begging is probably the same story. However if you are an aspiring burglar here are some tips to improve productivity.

Peace out.

Terror, is it racial?

Okay you dopey morons. I’m gonna tell you about some insight that attacked my brilliant mind last Sunday while we were smoking up some good greens on the beach. where does terror originate?

The talk starts with the ultimate blight of the depraved System. None of us want to be a part of it. Yet we all ride it. None of us actually want to go to work. yet we do,. we are all in it for the money. A few lucky ones prefer to self actualize and choose a path of life that is apart from the mainstream. A few brave ones. But is not very much fun doing it if you don't have the money to support a house in Colombo, great food, and hangouts in all the artsy places around town. So the apparently altruistic, at least the ones we could identify, were all rich kids with big inheritances ditching the system cos their spoilt enough to afford it. The rest are all 'struggling artists' Which doesn’t really count right?

We have all go a set of needs to fulfill. And rarely will you find a bugger self actualizing without a shit given to basic necessities like food, shelter, security etc. So most of us on a default basis basically 'ride the system'. Which of course is, the economy as we know it. The system fakes everything up and tells you that you are making an honest living. and, little knowing the greed that is driving imbalance and oppression across the world, you gladly work for it. Hell i do too.

The system is a network of capitalization. The powerful always stay on top. It is driven by power and money. Any external benefits that happen because of it are purely there to help it grow. because the system knows its a give and take ball game. but it is essentially exploitative. That’s why you don’t see most companies take steps against pollution unless there is enormous public pressure for it to do so. It knows if doesn't comply, it's gonna destroy its income. So then we have 'green' sucker uppers.

The System has been running the world for a long time. Ever wondered why the British empire was never criticized for its sudden and disgraceful loss of power (After WW2 it went from owning almost half the worlds land mass to owning practically nothing.) Yet they still command oodles of respect in the world’s hierarchy of powerbrokers. Ever looked closely at the regions that the Brits pulled out of? Ever noticed what a fucked up state they were left in? look at Africa. They were doing really well in the days of the Empire. Now their hitting the dust again and again. Look at India. They were united in power against the occupier. Muslims, Hindus alike, the Brits left and somehow massive racial violence breaks out and what was once India is now several nations. Their power broken down. There's no telling really, what they might have achieved as a country if they had stayed united and never waged all these destructive internal wars that tore them apart.

The Brits had a strategic withdrawal plan alright; They were in cahoots with the Americans when they were doing it. Consolidating their power even in retreat. One can almost say the Empire never died. Just closed in on itself.

Just look at SL. Even India. We were divided before being colonized, then we finally united against a common enemy, who somehow made sure we divided again after we finally won over them.

Fine. Now leave all that aside and look at us people again. We are working for a system that runs the world. That’s fine. we don’t think a lot beyond our own needs, and essentially we don’t need to. The system works on the basis that everyone has a need for it to survive. But how about the crushed? how about its vast inefficiencies and the destruction that is waged by the system? How about the web of lies we continue to believe in because it gives us comfort and allows to pretend that what we are doing is actually the best thing we could be doing. That we are not contributing to the dastardly effects the system has on the world.

How about those few who stand up against it? Are they the terrorists? Or are they just one form of terrorists?

What do yall think? If you've managed to follow my reasoning so far. If not, I'm gonna tell you anyways what I think.

Searching….Imagination…can’t…find….Anything!!

Ook.. so this is inspired by Dramaqueen inspired by Dee Cee inspired by Gutterflower.

I have a thing for these kinda mind exercises and like to then sit and think about the quirky things that come out. Haven’t given much thought to the below. Doing so would have spoilt the spontaneity and originality of it. I don’t know if that’s the way it’s supposed to be done, but that’s the way I did it. Enough rambling. Here we go.


I remember everything that happened with her

I don't care a damn though (at least I think so..)

I want to move on with my life. Continuously.

I hate my ‘sucker for love’ attitude

I wonder If aliens exist

I have never seen one though

I know nothing much


And because Dramaqueen wanted to ‘stimulate her creativity even further’ which i think is a good idea, I shall try that as well:


I live for tomorrow

I desire wealth and power

I love money and beautiful women : )

I need some satisfaction!

I revel in pain and rejection.


Now that’s something to think about…

The simple relationship between Money, Power and Blood...and a love poem.

I had a funny thought in the bus today. It was about money, power and blood. I remember thinking on the relationship between those three elements of human existence. Seems like in the quest for money and power, it is almost impossible not to have any blood on your hands. Now it does not mean that you have to directly pull the trigger or own the hand that holds the knife. I mean even in an indirect sense. Say you work as a respectable economist for a government with a despotic edge to it. A government that ruthlessly eliminates any opposition and refuses to acknowledge the values of the constitution that it is bound to uphold while being immersed in corruption. Don’t the benefits you gain from that job come from the sacrifice of others? From the bloodshed and pain and injustice caused?

Or say you are an honest businessman out to make a healthy living. the environment you operate in is ruled by a government that abuses fiscal policy to benefit certain industries that have no bearing on the development of the country (e.g. FDI and monopolistic foriegn control) and you take advantage of this to make your own money by investing in these areas.

is it really pssible to make money, become rich and powerful without having at least a drop of blood smeared on your hands as a result of your actions affecting the life of some other living being somewhere on this planet?

and now for the love poem..

ahem..

Every single day,
Every single hour
I can see her face.
My never ending fantasy
My wish so long ago
Living in a pipe dream
Happiness it seems
Is so close by
Dancing to the beat
My days go by

But now I am further away
Looking at myself
What if I got what I want?
My mind turns critical
The reality of the dream
Is it just a dream in reality?
It’s an illusion of truth
And that is not always good


so what does love have in common with money and power you ask? well they all make me extremely sentimental.

they are also three things that are highly desirable to the average human being.

And where does the blood come in? well, i'll leave that for you to figure out.