Vision Statement

Sitting in front of my PC, I am wondering what to write. It is not essential that I write something, but it would be nice to express in words what is swirling through the inner reaches of my mind.

Words give meanings to thoughts, emotions and provocations. Without putting them into words, at least coherently in your own mind, it is almost impossible to deduce what we feel inside and what actually ‘goes on’ inside our heads.

I let myself float free, a particle of dust in the vast space of a canyon, or a feather floating through a summertime forest high among the trees. The feather reaches a clearing and floats down to get a closer look. There are some people in the clearing and they seem to be men. Perhaps they are soldiers, and are collecting firewood or maybe erecting a camp for the day.

It is hopeless. This is absolutely hopeless. I am trying to electrify my mind out of this state of constant numbness, this passive nature of non-aggressive thoughtfulness. This calm façade that I know must eventually break and release the anger and frustration within. I am trying to curb the outbreak by letting out the fierce waters of the dam in a constant trickle. That will be much better than fierce floodwaters that could wash away all in its path.

Whenever I hear myself think, I wonder if my father thinks the same way. He is a great man, but I want to be different from him, although not completely different. I have not yet figured out what kind of a man he is. He is an eternal mystery. Either he is the best I ever knew at letting people not see what he is really thinking or what he is really about, or it has become a second nature to him over the years and he simply does not know how to show emotion.

Well whatever said and done, I will lay out here what kind of a man I think I should be. First of all I should be God fearing, for there is no future without Him, I should be fiercely honest even when it can cause me harm, I should be a man of my word and once it is given (and the conditions pertaining to it are made clear), I should not stop until I have fulfilled my side of the bargain. I should be loving towards my fellow human beings. I should be aggressive when the moment demands it, but not lose the sanity of my thoughts in the whirlwind of rage.

I will always maintain a cool head and always have the sense to consider my options and decide logically what to do even if I am a few feet away from being hit by a speeding train. My thoughts should never go into slumber and I should always be alert and coherent.

I pray to Allah that this may be so.