We went to watch a movie yesterday. At least i thought it was a movie. If i wasn't constricted to the norms of reality i would call it something between a lullaby and a sleeping pill. Except for the occasional violent bits consisting of child molestation, falling off of buildings, vetically excecuted cleaving-knife chops to skulls, rape and Jerry trying to descreetly grope people it was pretty uneventful.
There was a huge blue chap. body like Adonis. Thoroughly naked but with a blurry bit where his pelvis should have been. I mean, if you're gonna get electricuted or get caught in the middle of a fusion reactor and get superpowers and all that junk, the least that could be asked for is to have all your organs intact, to take advantage of the perks of the job, so to speak.
But he didnt seem to be totally deprived. There was this latex clad bombshell whom he used to satisfy while also looking at the advanced schematics of a nutron bomb diffuser at the same time, a fact which she didnt seem to appreciate, not that i think it felt any different; she just resented the fact that he could actually think of saving the world from nuclear holocaust when he was 'supposed' to focus his complete attention on her (This type of behavior comes standard with the package when it comes to women, even in movies).
Disaster was averted when she dumped him for a geek with a Batman fetish, who flies around in a crazy contraption that looks like a bulemic bee. He ends up crying like a baby in the end, when his boyfriend dies.
There were snaps of political rhetoric that were obviously meant to be some sort of subtle and darkly witty neo-Marxist critique of the existing social order. There was, to end with, a noble 'message' where the bad guy walks free and the good guy (the blue guy) takes the fall and goes back to Mars to build merrygorounds so that people can live in peace and achieve the much dreamed of status of a 'global hippie community'* for the rest of survival.
*Meaning they would start smoking marijuana and living in the open and permanently give up on baths because they are a call back to 'civilization' which is symbolized by 'industrialization' which harks back to 'competition' which reminds them of 'competing for resources' which obviously means war and if there is one thing a hippie hates it is war.
So they shunned technology and took to idyllic foresty villages and gave up on space exploration (because 'technology' is 'civilization' and so on and so forth) and they all died a few millennia later when the sun went nova. And the Blue guy banged his head repeatedly against Sirius because it was all his fault they turned into hippies and missed out on the chance of colonizing the Milky Way and saving themselves.
That last bit will probably show up on the sequel. Oh wait, crappy movies don't get sequels; that last bit will probably be buried in some unread script in the dusty corridoors of Universal Studios 'til some 'creative type' picks it up fifty years down the line and my grandson later writes a post about it on his blog which would be similar to this one if he had any taste to speak of in entertainment.