Irrationalia

'Man is a rational animal’?

Whoever said that definitely has NOT driven through the traffic ridden streets of Dehiwala in the morning whilst being terribly late to work. A manic paranoia that my boss will call at any moment now to ask for that presentation I promised to polish up first thing in the morning had my earpiece firmly planted to my ear. There is a sound of someone knocking on a door. And no don’t worry it's just my sms tone. NOT a 'visitor among us from the 'other side''. And for a wonder, the usual 'news alerts' seemed to have dried up of late as well and the sms was from an actual person! Guess there are not many people dying, major disasters happening or a lot of ass kissing going on at Temple Trees. (I’m pro Mahinder, no really, I am! What? No I’m NOT crossing my fingers…)

I was having breakfast calmly at home (already 10 minutes late to work) when I got the message.

‘Boss in office’

Yelp! What the hell is he doing at work so early anyways? Goddamn. I remember a call at 8.30 last night

'You can give it to me first thing in the morning no?'

I wanted to say NO! You shmuck I… NO!

But I said yes.

And I could’ve given it really, no problem.

Except I was late.

So I pretty much drove poor old Angie like a maniac.

With ridiculously random thoughts running through my mind like,

"Why does no one ever Work on Labor Day?"

"Why am I so fucking horny lately?"

"Why are the morning jokes on TNL so dumb?"

"Why do I chill the hell out every morning taking my own cool time only to be late to work?"

"Why the hell am I working here?"

And the mood teeters on the brink of depression;

"I’m not made for conventional work"

"Don’t want to be a regular worker bee"

"I see no point in it, I’m not happy with my work".

Sure, I’m happy with my job. Now that’s a different thing. At this point in my life and times this is probably the ideal job for me. For reasons I shall allow to remain mysteriously unrevealed. I suddenly realize how much I’m riding on my dreams. And I get that feeling. You know, the one you get when an alien mother ship is about to light beam you into the bowels of its mysterious insides? Utter helplessness and loss of control.

Dreams, hopes, whizzing AC busses, waving cops, wrong side of the road, glaring drivers, hurt pedestrians (feelings feelings! not physically hurt. I usually respect pedestrians, ‘cos we’re all pedestrians at one point or the other), huffed tuk tuk drivers, busting AC that I keep having to switch on and off.

Delusional truck drivers who insist on traveling in the fast lane when it’s so fucking obvious that there are faster things like cars and push bicycles whose drivers are tearing their nerves up in impatience behind them.

The urge to stop and literally, literally beat-up the guy in the idling Camry eating a cheese sandwich slowing me down to 20kmph is overwhelmed by the urge to beat the ticking clock.

Finally the old girl and I got to work.

And now I’m chilling out writing a blog post about all this.

Did the best I could with the presentation, though my boss is the type of deranged dude who’d be perfectly happy with it one moment and then go completely berserk because the font size and background color creates sensory overload in combination with that little picture sitting on the side. Screw the actual content of the thing; leave that to the business world. Over here, we’re into politicking.