In ancient China there was once a pack of hungry, starving wolves. These wolves lived on the edge of a village of WILF hunters, a curious pack of Chinese with deviant sexual tastes.
The winter stretched long and hard, it seemed as if not one but two winters had passed, the forest was barren and the trees had lost their luster, the food was scarce and even rabbits weren’t procreating as much as they were traditionally used to. In fact, the only people who were actually getting any were the villagers, But as for actual procreation, well that was on an all time low for the whole region.
The bum trap was laid on the ground. Sinister, black and covered with snow so its sinister blackness would not be visible. Two Paw Menace stepped lightly over it. He knew how to avoid a bum trap now, every wolf worth his full moon moan knew how to do that. Note that i said 'moan' and not 'howl' as wolves are normally accustomed to do. This is a morbid story with morbid people in it, and it's dabblings in the dark side of human and animal nature is positively horrible to behold. So be warned, graphic scenes await you.
Now Two Paw Menace (Two-Pee-Em for short) was a bit of a scallywag, and actually enjoyed screwing around with his fellows (as if the humans weren't doing enough already, his pack was often heard to grumble) now and then.
Meanwhile Who, the greatest WILF hunter of them all, was setting out for his mid-morning er, filler.
Who was the greatest WILF hunter of them all. He was big, he was brave, and he had an insatiable er, appetite. As a matter of fact, whenever any one asked a question such as 'Who was big?' 'Who was brave?' and 'Who had an insatiable er, appetite?' The invariable answer would be 'Who, that’s who'.
He was peculiarly set apart from his fellow villagers (and all other Chinese probably) in one aspect. Indeed, it was almost the source of his weird strength and obscene disposition. It was menacing and strong. It was horribly deformed and was adorned with the most frightening spikes and various gadgetry especially designed to inflict the most amount of pain possible. Who took his hunting seriously, and not many a wolf lived to tell the tale of an encounter with Who.
Who was the dread of all wolves high and low, big or small, fair or tawny. Who was the most menacingly morbid, painfully bleedingly insane Chinese villager of them all? Who, that’s who.
I'll let you figure out the rest.
(Hint) It goes something like this;
2PM cries out 'Who!' The rest rush to the rescue, find out he was screwing around again, and leave in disgust.
Who actually shows up, 2PM cries out 'WHO!' no one shows up. 2PM gets royally screwed.
The moral of the story: It doesn’t pay to be too cocky, even if you're a wolf.