It is a strange feeling you get when you like someone but you're just not sure yet. When you've been alone for months and you've been liking it, God puts someone in your way who is utterly irresistible, and that person just may make you bend, If you're not too careful.
Or if you are careless, you may end up chasing that person away, and that is something you do not want either. You have pledged to remain alone, knowing full fell the release of freedom, yet you want to plunge into another open space not knowing on what surface your feet will land, or with what velocity.
You do not want it to end, yet you are not sure you want it to finish. and finishing and ending are too different things, mind. A finish is not necessarily an end, it is the beginning of a new race, a new chase. Whereas the end is the end, when you have lost interest, or have had the interest lost in you. That's why it's fucking called The End. And remember the full stop.
It is a mind boggler for sure. And it is just like me to think and ponder upon the strange psychological majicking that is going on, probably in the minds of both of us, rather than worry about the actual situation and the actual connection that exists between us.
Or perhaps that is the connection that means something when you are almost lost. Wayward and bored, someone comes along and actually pricks your mind before your penis even wakes up to their presence. It takes you by surprise and after that, it's surprises all the way man, all the way.
Lol. That's the first time i've used that word in a blog post. I used to hate it immensely. Now i spurt random 'lol's all over the place, it is like an auto reaction man. it sounds so obscene and immature; the word 'lol'. Reminds me of this Sri Lankan slang word lolla.
But this is making me laugh out loud. Another thing about words man, swear words. What is it about a well placed 'fuck' or a 'shit' that gives a sentence and a post so much more panache and effect? personally i do not condone swearing. It is definitely a bad habit. But there remains to be said a thing or two on the necessity of effect. And when you are deep into conveying a message, a 'fuck' here or there definitely helps.
Perhaps it is because my vocabulary is not refined enough. Who knows man. Or perhaps it is another sign of the evolution of language, because for fucks sake, is it only me who has noticed that we speak in different ways and change our language almost everyday? Maybe words that are conventionally considered to be 'bad' are just entering into the mainstream vocabulary. And now it's conventional and 'fuck' doesn't really refer to people having sex anymore. Well not specifically. The word 'fuck' now has so many implications depending on context and nuance. It is complex and refined. It is filth no more.
You would definitely have heard that recording of a hermit type 'guru' laying out the various forms of the word's use. Someone posted it on a blog, but i can't seem to recall who or where. Please help me on this so i can link to it.
Another word is shit. As MP elaborates in the first para of his new post, he has 'what seems to be an ocean of shit' he'd like to read. Now if my father saw this, he may be mildly confused, but perhaps not, my father has surprised me in the past, but no matter. MP goes on to elaborate that 'Shit can be used in the context of ''Good''.. hence the statement... ''Good shit'' '
When we hear the words fuck or shit, as a part of a whole sentence sunk within a conversation or a blog post, how many of us would actually think of sex or human excreta unless the context specifically refers to such a scenario (e.g. I saw two dogs f*cking, i trampled some shit today etc.)? We usually do not right? we will either think of frustration or emphasis of some sort in the case of the 'f' word and the 's' word would simply be part of some other vague generalization.
Another word that is doing the heavy rounds i'v not gotten used to is 'meh'. I see quite a lot of people using it. It's apparently a 'verbal shrug'. I'm still slightly averse to using it since i keep associating it with the sinhalese 'meh' which is used to imply some sort of challenge or as a part of a gesture to mean 'don't be ridiculous man'. Hmmm, it'll probably grow on me though, i can't really say.
In the meanwhile im off to see how all this is going to turn out and hopefully will catch you beautiful fuckers at open mic tonight. In the meanwhile as indi i think once said, i'm sorry of i just tore you a new asshole. Actually, no im not :D