Confessions from the Dark Side.

Forgive me, for I have sinned. I am a sinner because sinning is all I do in this life. I am cruel and I am insensitive. I am a Bad, Bad Boy.

And yet I am an even worse sinner because I simply revel in my badness. I Luurrve being bad. It’s like being bad is a loverrly smooth dripping ice cream sundae and I am parched and exhausted and have seen nothing but the desert for weeks! And I just want to rub it on my face and smack and lick and suck all that luverrly refreshing ice-cream into my system. That’s how much I like being bad.

And what kind of badness do I revel in? Unfortunately, there is no glory or an abstractly admirable angle in my badness. I am not a heroic crook like McAvity the Mystery Cat, nor am I a soldier who blasts to smithereens the nearest enemy head. I am no Robin Hood or a modern day Saradiyel. No, my badness does not conjure up visions of Schwarzenegger in Terminator nor even of Anthony Hopkins in The Silence of the Lambs.

No, my badness is more of a sneaky kind of badness.

I am a sniveling, snickering creature inside my head who likes nothing better than to pick on people’s weaknesses, I laugh at their accent, I laugh at their clothes, I laugh at their parents, I laugh at their kindness, I laugh at everything possible for me to laugh at.

And yet, a part of me laughs at me at the same time. A part of me laughs at me because I laugh at them. a part of me feels sorry for me for being so petty. A part of me despises the miserable creature and that part is constantly ashamed of this badness.

And still I laugh. Oh how I laugh! I like nothing better than to look at some pitiful inferior creature and laugh my guts out at that poor individual’s fate. I associate with them, talk to them and live with them. Among them there are individuals who love me, who treasure me and would give their lives for my safety, but yet a part of me laughs at them. A part of me despises them. A part HATES them. A part wants to KILL them, MAIM them and TORTURE them. A part of me is Very Very Morbid.

That is the most dangerous idea I have come across. When you brush your teeth every morning, have a closer look in the mirror. That mind that your eyes conceal is capable of more evil than you think. There is more evil going on in there than you know. In fact, you’re probably at least as twice as evil as you think you are right now. And if you think there is no evil in you, then you must be one of those philosophical types who think that good and evil are purely irrelevant words used to describe a purely subjective phenomenon.

But potentially, oh yes potentially, we are capable of anything. Today I might be a docile teeth brusher peacefully going to work but tomorrow I could snap and beat my colleague to death with my telephone.

There is evil in all of us. It is just waiting to snap out. But sometimes it sneaks and seeps through the gaps you have left open in your mind, eating into your subconscious and transforming you into something different.

There is a Jack in all of us.