MYSELF or…Writing the Personal Statement or….How to Sell Yourself on Paper (without a damn pimp)

Ok here’s the deal. The Whackster is actually considering moving on from the golden shores of this country to try his luck at gaining an MBA. Or a Masters in Bloody Antics. Whatever. In any case the deal is that I get quite a substantial scholarship which I would desperately need since my collective funds do not total anywhere close to the millions required, but there is a catch. Oh yes there is always a catch.

So these people at the esteemed institution I am applying for are dangling this tempting essential in my face and forcing me to write an essay of 3000 words to get it. That’s right, a damn 3000 word essay! I mean, writing about any old thing is no big deal for me as you can quite plainly see by looking at this blog but writing to win a scholarship worth 5 grand? Ouch! The very thought of it brings out the goose pimples all over me.

We are not talking about the regular ‘myself’ essay here; My name is The Whackster, I am 23 years old, I like blogging and running on the beach etc would'nt quite cut it (or so tells me this tiny little voice in my head). This requires something more articulate, something more to the point yet long drawn, something to put it short, that takes 3000 words to describe in great detail exactly why I need the money! Hell all I need is 4 simple words for that; Because I Am Poor (did I stutter?).

They are probably looking for some third world sob story riddled with the usual accompaniments; Natural disasters, political victimization, lack of essential living conditions such as food or water or lodging or all of the above, disease ridden neighborhoods where cow dung is considered a healthy delicacy etc. and they probably want you to be some brilliant genius rising up through all that muck and shmuck and proving himself against all odds to a cruel world and who, after long years of hardship, has reached the point in his life where he needs, I mean REALLY needs an MBA from this Particular institution to succeed.

I mean, I know anything is possible and I’ve had my share of fortune and strife, but that seems kinda tall right? so the deadline approaches and i am totally playing the deer stuck in the headlights here. so i need some help you see. Any tips? i will remember you when i am filthy rich. i promise.